What if your child doesn't agree with you on home schooling?

Question : Disgruntled Child

What if your child doesn't agree with you on home schooling?

 

Mrs AH:

In my experience,it's a matter of time and adjustment which is why it's so important to give yourself and your child some slack when you first start out and ease into the whole process naturally,always re-evaluate what works and what doesn't,g getting your child's feedback and adjusting stuff accordingly.

If the child resists from the get-go it's just a sign of stubborn attachment to what he/she knows and it's a unique opportunity to asses what exactly is/has been going on in your child's life and deal with his attachments accordingly(so.e of them you'll have to compromise on and some he/she may have to learn to compromise on). After all,one if the benefits of homeschooling is to prepare your child for REAL LIFE and real life rarely gives you what you want it to and we need to learn to deal with it in as healthy way as possible.
 

 SAA: 3 sons, 2 daughters/ ages 16 to 7

Is the question is
The child disagree to the homeschooling style or child disagree to homeschooling
Cause which child would
 

Ummibaps:

Nope not about the style....definitely about children who don't want to leave school and those who want to go to school like their friends
 

SAA: 

Hmm

I have children who is past homeschooling age in college
Accuse me of not homeschooling him
He says his love of learning is really suffered
 

Umm Raeyan: Daughter 9 yrsSon 3 yrs

I will never force my children to be homeschooled; it should be a mutual decision. So far my daughter agrees with the idea but if at any point in life she asks me to be admitted in school I'll definitely consider it. Indeed the ultimate goal is to prepare our children for the afterlife however I don't want to ruin / damage my relationship with them in this life.
When making a decision whether it is buying clothes or selecting a book at the library I remind her to evaluate if it is religiously or morally wrong if not then there is no harm in trying it out. It is just adds up to the experiences of this life.
Remember the supplication in Surah Baqara Allah has taught us to ask for good for both the worlds.

Allah knows best, may He guide is.
 

Ummibaps: 8 sons, 1 daughter/ ages 2 to 18 years

When I first put my children in school ,  they were too young to make life decisions. .....nor experienced enough to evaluate where to study....We; the parents, researched , evaluated ,  did Istikara and sent them to school......

When we learned about homeschooling as an option of education. ...We researched, evaluated and did Istikara,  then withdrew them from school.....They did not have a choice in the matter....They were making decisions according to their maturity. ..but we did not feel that a fifth grader was mature enough to decide on something this crucial. ....

Now that they are more mature. ...They've  researched , evaluated, consulted us and done Istikara. ...and made decisions regarding which subjects they want to study and which teachers will tutor them ......

No....not all my children wanted to homeschool. ...and there have been some wanting to go to school  ( just like some small school going children whine that they don't want to go to school on the day they have a test)... so far we have watched them....evaluated them...made du'a for guidance. ...and so we homeschool them

 

Amina: 

Jazakillahu khayr sister Ummibaps for such a great response.
I have been so worried about it. My daughter is not yet three but she's insisting me since months to send her to school. Maybe because she see her cousins going there? She's already aware of the terms like tutions, homework, teacher etc and her only exposure to school is her cousins at home.

I'm sure she won't be happy if she has to go to school regularly because I know her and the school system as well. I think I can delay it easily for an year until I start getting serious pressure from inlaws.

 

SAA: 

You know part of building self esteem is
confidence in doing their own things
I have an abstract theory
If the parents are ordinary and mundane the kids wants to be intellectual and if the parents are intellectual the kids as response of some kind wish to fit in
Or not stand out

It could be introvert extrovert thing too
Extroverts strive to fit in

It's not right or wrong it's just a personality

What do you do then
You teach your child to look beyond conventions and find the true value in everything
Going to school is for receiving education
And
Show her how she is receiving hers
Also show her the advantages she is receiving in such personalized structure 
Since she is young and haven't attended school
She is fantasizing school
In that case a small dose of reality will give the rude awakening
 

Amina : 

Yes exactly SAA. She's fantasizing and for once I thought to just let her go for a few days with her cousin which I'm sure will terrify her for the rest of her life. Schools here mostly are very very outdated and especially the one my family's kids go to. I'm sure my daughter can't even survive a day there. What with so much rules and strictness and treating three year olds as full grown up adults.

 (Note: The above is a copy of a Whatsapp conversation,   partly edited for clarity)