What if your spouse or extended family refuses to allow you to homeschool your children? Have any of you had to face such a situation?

Question : Opposition

What if your spouse or extended family refuses to allow you to homeschool your children? 

Have any of you had to face such a situation?

 

Sobia Ajaz Mhs: 

Another aspect of the same problem can be, when you want to homeschool but the living style of the family does not support. Eg if the child is at home, your family does not allow you to force early bed times and consequently early mornings, you cannot keep child focused because of the laad piyar of the family. Also when going out on meetups and clubs is an issue.
My solution for now is that my daughter has started school and m determined to homeschool after grade 2. And will do some afterschool with her and won't give her too much pressure for school.

 

Sb: 2 boys 1 daughter/Ages 5-10

My husband, in-laws, parents and brother opposed homeschooling.

They didn't think it would be best for the kids and questioned my ability to teach them.

I spent a year convincing my husband, making him listen to impactful talks and reading him excerpts from books. He began to see the faults of the school system, but wasn't comfortable with me taking control of all their educational needs.

Finally the deal he made with me was that we'd take the kids out of school, but if it didn't work out, I would have to admit it and agree to put the kids back in school.

Alhamdulillah, neither of us have looked back. My in laws and parents have gotten used to it, but they do still feel school would be best for the O level years.
For timings my opinion is:
If you force regular bed times when your child goes to school, you need to do so while homeschooling too.

If you stick to your rules for homeschool timings, the family will also get used to it.
 

SAA; 3 sons, 2 daughters/ ages 16 years to 7 years
Assalam alaikum

I'll start a little back
Every year at the start of summer vacation or the end of exam the kids would start extensive projects of their interest
Reading biology
Marine biology
Ornithology 

Paleontology
Robotics
Industrial operations
Coding
Block java etc
Nuclear science
Electro physics
Astrophysics
Particle physics 
List goes on and on
My husband and I were specific if you are studying something you should be able to explain it simply
Kids would revel in this time their inert genius slowly shining out
Then school starts again and all that would be left behind
In time we started to see kids impatience and frustration with the curriculum
My husband for a long time had asked me to homeschool the kids
Telling me that we are wasting our money in schools
My kids went to a good school
Teachers were OK like most teachers
Knew that children were special needs ones made friends with the kids
But ironically they would say kids are intelligent but need adjustment
The administration was very supportive
That was one reason I couldn't take the leap earlier

Opposition I faced was from Inlaws
But not very strong
Kids were already on routine system
Were achieving more were better disciplined 
Socialisation was important aspeclhamdulilah we found it in our book groups
Yes mana too
My husband took the initiative of calling it his idea
And standing firm that all questions should be directed to him
Didn't work that way I knew the only way to stop the daily argument is to be on my toes and show more results
In a way I am grateful for this cause I don't have a chance to lax
 

 Umm Salaar : How old were your children when you pulled them out of school? If you don't mind sharing.

 

SAA: 13, 11,10 ,5
That was last year in August so I'm not a veteran just started too
 

Mrs AH: 2 sons,7 and 15

First and foremost I would suggest that everyone do istikhara before deciding to take a stance on homeschooling your kids.It is wise to always weigh in the pros and cons and when the situation does not permit it then don't stubbornly refuse to listen to anyone else, hence ask for wisdom and clarity in your goal and intentions.

Second of all, try to understand that any opposition that you may face from within your family or social circle comes from a good place.Your relatives will genuinely believe that they are protecting the children's best interest by intervening.Once you get to terms with that ,we reach to the third point,which is:

Educate yourself and others.Read up as much as you can on the topic,take notes, and be prepared to refute confusion with facts.It is especially helpful for concerned parties to hear about others who do the same and a series of success stories don't hurt either.That's how I got my husband to agree, by reading him HomeWorks magazine articles about real life people,here,in Karachi.

Ummibaps : Question : Opposition

Conclusion :
- be patient
-  educate those around you about homeschooling
- allow them to observe the problems of school
- if you are already homeschooling,   give them a chance to observe the benefits

ALSO
- prioritize : is the decision to homeschooling causing excessive friction , ruining relationships,   causing the children to disrespect their mother? 
If so , can the decision to homeschool wait for a while till:
- the notion is less detested
- some sort of approval is given by the spouse
- the child goes to school for a bit to appease everyone for a while  and gives them a chance to observe small issues that come forth....

Remember :
- the family members that oppose homeschooling love your children too and are worried about them too
- all types of change is difficult,  esp when it is against the norm.

 (Note: The above is a copy of a Whatsapp conversation,   partly edited for clarity)